How can I reduce the stress when someone fails to do what I think they should be doing?
One way to deal with stress with other people is that instead of focusing on the other person, we focus instead on our reactiveness, anger, words, or things we want to say or do, and we just pay attention to that. By doing so, we notice what we want and what we do not want. Probably, you can notice that sometimes somebody will do something, and you will have a strong reaction against them. Yet at other times, that person may do the exact same thing, and it will not bother you, and so really the control is within you to respond differently to other people.
We think we want to change somebody else, but we really do not have any power to do that. We can, however, change our response, and by doing that, we usually can improve our relationships with other people. When we are more relaxed, they are more likely to be relaxed, too.